Since becoming a mother, I realized there are a lot of things up for debate amongst parents and non parents alike: Bed times, sleep training, behavioral training methods etc. The one I will be discussing today is, NURSING.

So, before becoming a mother, the whole nursing thing was a weird, but straight forward concept. You feed your baby boob juice for the first few months of its life when you are at home, and then you are done when baby eats solids. Seems simple enough right? WRONG! There’s SO much more to it.

It first starts during delivery. Nurses came into my room right before I started pushing and asked if I wanted to breast feed the baby or formula feed. My answer was always simple, I will try to breast feed the baby if that’s what she chose. I understood that there were baby’s and mothers that had a hard time nursing and just couldn’t nurse no matter how hard they tried. I didn’t want to add any stress to myself or the baby so I figured I would go with the flow. The nurses told me that when the baby first comes out, they would place her on my chest and see if she would latch and we would go from there. My girl cried for a minute and went straight on, with no problem.

First nursing session went great, I told my husband, “that was a piece of cake”. Those were words I would soon regret. I found out that my child had a very strong latch which initially caused me bleeding and pain. My girl could nurse all day if she wanted to. There were lactation consultants coming in and ensuring I was nursing her properly and advised me to use lanolin if I continued to feel pain. They also advised me to nurse on demand, that is the best option for mom and baby. Well, my baby demanded ALL THE TIME.

When I got home from the hospital, nursing was still causing me pain so I decided to go to a lactation consultation again to ensure everything was ok. I was doing it right, but I had to find different ways to ease the pain. I almost gave up because I would be in so much pain. I ordered nipple covers that would allow the baby to nurse without direct contact and those helped a little but I would forget to clean one and not use it for the next feeding. I started pumping which was a confusing situation on its own. I would look down and wonder, how the hell do I use this contraption? I spoke to some mom pro’s (aka my sister in laws) who helped me figure it out and I began to pump after feedings so that I could have my husband feed her when I was still in pain. It took three weeks for the pain to go away and that was HEAVENLY. Baby and I were rocking it out.

I spoke to my doctors and we decided I would try and primarily nurse my girl until she was around 6 months and would pump a supply so that I could go back to work and still have my girl with my milk and no formula. No one told me I would hold this pride grudge over formula. Just hearing the words “give her formula” would make my blood boil because I had tried SO hard just to nurse her that I did not want to give up. Going back to work and pumping were VERY rough. It would take up so much time during my lunch to pump and so many things to pack to work with me EVERY DAY, but I did it. It was exhausting to say the least and one day I decided I would finally add formula to help relieve some stress from pumping. I didn’t stop nursing her, she would not have it, but I supplemented with formula after 6 months.

Here’s where it gets complicated and the whole world gets involved. My daughter is now seventeen months old and I am still nursing her. Can she eat solids, you bet she can. Does she still want to nurse and drink moms magic boob juice, you bet she does. This was something I never thought that I would do. I only thought I would be able to nurse up to 6 months and when I would work that would stop. I thought magically one day we would stop nursing and all would be good. My daughter had other plans.

To be honest, sometimes I am okay with this and sometimes it is exhausting. It’s a great bonding tool. I love snuggling with my little one. The exhausting part is, my work schedule is NEVER consistent which means her schedule can be out of wack since she is waiting for me to come home. She misses me so much that when she see’s me, no matter where I am, immediately she wants to nurse. She can be in the car and want to nurse but we can’t so she will have a fit until I can nurse her. Nights that she misses me the most, she will keep me up because she wants to snuggle and nurse all night which means I get no sleep.

Here’s the problem I have. People think that they have a say in my and my own child’s decision to nurse. Every day at work, I would hear “oh my gosh, you are still nursing, don’t you want to stop” or “when are you going to stop nursing?” Or even better, “she’s a big girl now, you don’t need to nurse her anymore”. OK PEOPLE, when did you start paying my bills for my food, when did you start making decisions about what I feed my child or do with my own body? I originally did not set myself up to continue nursing her, she made that decision, and I am okay with that. People tell me all the time, “you are the mom, you can stop her” and yes, they are right, but I am her mom, and I chose to listen to her and make a decision when its right FOR THE BOTH OF US. I don’t want to cut her off completely when I know it’s something that she wants and needs. I see how upset she gets when she wants to nurse and can’t. I try and distract her or give her an alternative but she refuses until she nurses. To me, she’s just not ready to fully stop, and that is ok.

It is proven all the benefits of nursing up to two years, and I can attest to the great work it has done for my child. She is so smart and learning more and more by the second. I am grateful to have the option to continue nursing her because I know the struggle of nursing and that there are moms who wish they could. I also understand moms who don’t want to nurse. This blog is not about mom shaming mothers who choose to formula feed, this blog is in support of mothers who decide to do what is best for them and their child because in the end, it is the mother and child’s decision to do what is best.

I am so tired of hearing things that other nursing moms have to deal with. The struggles of finding a place to pump or nurse that is “appropriate” and comfortable. The stigma surrounding something so natural and beneficial that most people have benefited from themselves just really bothers me. Being a mom who has nursed longer than a year, it never gets easier to hear or deal with things that others say when they realize you are still nursing. You get used to it, but its never easy. I get pleasantly surprised and overjoyed by the mothers that do come around and celebrate with me, or have told me their stories so that I did not feel alone. It is almost always a new mom that has always come to my side and comforted me, because they understand what it is like to be a new mom. We are out there, and we do believe in each other and support one another. That’s what I want this blog to do, help someone like me out there understand that YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB, if you are a nursing mom, a formula mom, any mom, YOU ARE DOING GREAT and I am proud of you.

MOMS ROCK!

Until we meet again,

Yesie Marie